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Final Draft, Tattoo Writing Assignment
Please submit the final draft of the first paragraph here. You will need to save your paragraph as a Word document and upload the file here.
Before you submit your final draft, be sure to double-check the following. These are the criteria I will be using to grade your work:
1. Look at the topic sentence. Is it a complete sentence? Make sure that it’s not a fragment or written like a “title.” For example, “Three reasons people get tattoos.” This would be a fragment. Instead, write: “There are three reasons people get tattoos.” This would be a complete sentence.
2. Look for the first supporting point. Could you find it easily? Is there a transition? What is the transition? ____________________
Is there a specific example of this first reason people get tattoos? It should be a detailed description of a tattoo. Remember, this is an exemplification paragraph, which means there must be specific examples of each supporting point.
3. Now look for the second supporting point. What is the transition? _________________ If it’s missing, write one in.
Is there a specific example for this supporting point? Is there enough detail? If no, suggest what could be added to make it “A-level specific.”
4. Find the third supporting point. Transition? _______________
Is there an interesting specific example of this final supporting point? Does it need more detail? Remember, specific writing is interesting writing! Details like a person’s name can help your reader connect with your writing.
5. Is there a conclusion sentence?
6. Finally, edit your paragraph the best you can for any errors such as fragments, run-ons, or misspelled words.
Email me if you have any questions.
Journal #4 Prompt:
If you could achieve anything in your life, what would it be?
Remember to include interesting specific details.
Type your journal in the MLA format. You should have a heading with: your name, my name, the course and the date. You should have a title, and the paragraph should be double spaced.
Rough Draft for Customer Service Paragraph
Narrative/Descriptive Writing Assignment
Compile your information from the scratch outline submitted last week and create it into a rough draft. The length for this assignment is
ten grammatically correct sentences, and it will need to be typed in MLA format. (Review previous modules for help with MLA formatting).
Submitting the paper:
1. Make sure you have saved your document
in Word format.
2. Click on the assignment link.
3. Click on the Browse button.
4. Select the file you want to send and double-click on the file name so that
it appears in the Browse area.
5. Click on the Submit (NOT the Save) button and your file is on its way to
18 Aug. 2021
Terrible Dining Experience
My dinner experience at Jillian’s Home Cooking was the worst customer service experience ever due to the servers, the atmosphere, and the cleanliness. First, our server was not friendly or helpful. She didn’t introduce herself, took ten minutes to bring drinks, and brough us the wrong order. When we told her that our order was not right, she said, “Oh well,” and kept walking. Then, we noticed that the atmosphere was not appropriate. The music was too loud, and we could not hear each other talk. The restaurant also had TVs throughout the store with different channels that were blaring sound. The worst part about our experience was the lack of sanitation. Even though the employees were wearing masks, the masks looked filthy, and we saw a bug in the corner of the restaurant. Our experience was terrible at Jillian’s Home Cooking because of the poor service, the environment, and the lack of sanitation.
Revision and Editing
Taking the Next Steps in Your Paper
Differences Between Revision and Editing
Revision- (re)examines the writing as a whole to see what can make it stronger. You look at the writing with a new focus or perspective. Consequently, you make larger changes as you revise.
Editing- You are looking for typos, such as a duplicate word or a misspelling. When writers edit, they must go line by line to find these errors.
Four Key Areas to revise for include:
Examine the topic sentences to see if they state the main idea of the paragraph. The reader should know the paragraph’s main point after having read the topic sentence.
For a paragraph to be unified, all details should support that single point stated in the topic sentence.
All details in the paragraphs should support the main idea/topic sentence.
The support or evidence should also be developed enough to convey the main idea.
The evidence should be specific and enough.
You will examine how well the paragraph is organized. It should be in a clear, logical order.
Moreover, see where transitions and connecting words are used. You then need to see where they need to be added to link your thoughts.
Transitions to Help with Coherency:
Illustration or Examples
In like manner
Transitions serve as a bridge to connect ideas between paragraphs and sentences. They allow the reader to see your thought process and how your ideas connect so they do not have to read between the lines. As a result, consider the relationship between your ideas.
Major errors should be corrected during revision.
These major errors include but are not limited to:
Use of slang
As you learn and practice these key sentence skills throughout the term, your revisions will become stronger.
Revising Using A.R.M.S.
Revising your Draft: ARMS
words, sentences, details, citations, signal phrases (transitions)
words, sentences, details
sentences to fit better, thesis, word order
Overused words (“things, stuff, cool”), plain words, flat sentences
***Following these can help with revising unity, support, coherency, and sentence skills.
Revising and Editing Sentence Skills
Editing your draft: CUPS
First words in sentences, proper nouns, titles
Does it make sense? Are words used correctly? Is it clear?
Use commas after signal phrases, periods after citations, quotation marks around direct quotes.
Do not just use spell check. Read your work aloud and use a dictionary!
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